


I am still learning to love

by Imaed



Series: Educational [6]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship, Boyd seems fine, Denial, Derek Has Issues, Fluff and Angst, Jaelousy, Off screen, Pack Feels, Self Confidence Issues, Slow Build, Stiles Has Panic Attacks, Stiles Too, and probably Isaac and Erica too, but let's be honest, for now, romcom cliche are the best cliche
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-10-05 19:43:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10315598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imaed/pseuds/Imaed
Summary: Stiles hide his face on his pillow; maybe he could kill himself before the embarrassment would kick in.“Childish is not a good look on you” stated Lydia.“Responsible is not either” he mumbled.OrDerek and Lydia find a common ground and have coffeeDerek and Stiles have a breakdown in the middle of the parking lotand Isaac and Erica are both miserable and angry about the developping Sterek situation





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys !!!  
> So this very new part of the serie was really hard to write, mainly because Derek and Lydia had their own little relationship suddenly... and that was really not planned. But anyway. Sorry for the angst and probably the fluff too.   
> Hope you will like it all the same.   
> I love how it end though... but no spoiler !!

« Why Derek though ? »

Stiles stared at his friend, mouth wide open. They had to stop starting conversation like that, sitting in his or her room, trying in vain to diminish their workload. 

“You sooo did not ask me that?”

The strawberry blonde girl glanced at him curiously.

“Why not?” 

“Because why Jackson?” fired back the sheriff’ son. 

Lydia looked fictitiously thoughtful before answering.

“I see your point. But you didn’t answer me” she didn’t let him answer before moving on. “I mean, I can see the appeal, he is hot.”

“And funny and loyal and smart” added Stiles.

She stared at her friend openly skeptical. 

“He is” he insisted.

She hummed without insisting, it was irritating how she kept judging him and most of his decision with a pout.

“Why did you think I spend time with him?” he questioned her, fearing what kind of answer she would provide.

She blushed a bit, which was terrifying in a way. He had always saw the girl composed and in control of her reaction. 

“Why did you think I spend time with him?” he repeated more firmly.

“It’s not exactly a nice answer” she said almost, sheepishly. 

Stiles frowned and waited for her to elaborate.

“Well, you are very pleased when you help people” she started carefully. “And Derek need help all the time, almost pathologically.” It’s not unconceivable to link those two facts together.”

“I don’t see what would be wrong with that.”

Lydia searched for her word a moment. She looked worried about her hypothesis.

“Someone could ask what will happen the day he doesn’t need help anymore, or the day you get tired of helping him. It’s exactly a sane situation.” 

“Once again, you are one to talk” repeated Stiles, but it wasn’t as bitter as the first time.

“It’s different with Jackson” she remarked, annoyed.

“How so?”

“Because we both know every issue between us. We had time and opportunity to test our limits and talk about what was acceptable and what was not. I’m not sure if you and Derek did, it just seems to me you are doing this… friendship blindly.”

The Sheriff’s son stopped a moment and thought about it.

“You are afraid I am spending time with him because I need to be needed, don’t you?”

She winced.

“It has crossed my mind, yes.”

He nodded. 

“I expected you to be angry about it.” Admitted Lydia cautiously. She was glaring at him like she was waiting for him to implode or pounce on her. “You don’t usually stay this calm when I ask you something about the intimate nature of your relationship with Derek.”

“It has little to do with him” reasoned Stiles “and it’s not a big surprise. Me being needy is not exactly new.”

“That’s not what I said.”

Stiles shrugged unconcerned. He didn’t want to talk about it, most of all because it reminded him of another talk he had, long time ago. 

Derek would stop needing his help soon. He just needed someone to help him see through the fog of his head. Once he would be done with that, he would leave Stiles. 

Just like Scott did when he met Allison and more recently since his sudden and inexplicable friendship with Isaac.

Just because Stiles knew it would happened didn’t mean it hurt less.

His breath came short.

“Stiles” he heard, “Don’t” Lydia’s voice was a warning in his head.

The fucker had been right all along. He was going to end alone, because he was incapable of keeping the people he loved. He was such a fuck up.

~ 

He woke up to the sound of Lydia talking about… was it the string theory? 

He was cold, he still felt miserable and aching and he had a panic attack in front of Lydia. Again. This was just great. Maybe if he faked sleeping Lydia and whoever she was talking to would just ignore him.

“He is waking up” whispered a voice he started to recognize very well.

Things were just getting better and better. Of all people the strawberry blonde genius could have called, she chose Derek. 

Stiles hide his face on his pillow; maybe he could kill himself before the embarrassment would kick in. 

“Childish is not a good look on you” stated Lydia.

“Responsible is not either” he mumbled. Which made Derek snorted. Well, at least it was funny for someone.

He was lying on his bed, shoeless but, thanks every gods, with his clothes on.

A glass of water materialized in front of him and he realized that he was parched. Drinking it, though, would require him to face his guests. He wasn’t sure he was ready for it yet.

“What do you want?” asked Lydia, more and more annoyed.

“World peace” answered immediately Stiles in jest.

She frowned more. 

“I’m fine” he said to pacify her. 

She glanced at Derek and he probably heard the stutter in his heartbeat because she stared at him even more annoyed. Stiles sighted and straightened in his bed, just enough so he could take the glass of water and drink it. His hands were shaking a bit but he managed not to spill any on the bed sheets. Baby steps.

“I don’t want to talk about it” probably because it would trigger another panic attack and he was so not up to it. 

Derek was sitting on his bed, this was a sight to behold, and Lydia was facing him, sat on his office’s chair. He was surrounded. It made him feel uncomfortable. 

Suddenly, Lydia stood up and gathered her things. 

“I’m going home” she said, quite obviously. “Call me when you are done with your part of the paper, thank you for coming by Derek.”

She was out before Stiles could say a word.

“Are you feeling better?” asked Derek.

Stiles nodded, not at all sure of what he should say.

“Maybe I should go too, then”

“Do you want to watch a movie?” blurted the teenager, suddenly afraid it had changed things between them.

Derek winced, obviously hesitating.

“I promised Isaac I would help him with his French” he answered sheepishly. “Maybe tomorrow?”

“Oh” Of course, the pack went first. “Sure, tomorrow is fine.”

When he left his bedroom, he was on his own. It was probably worse than not breathing.

~

Someone knocked at the door.

It was sufficiently rare that every person in the loft, namely Derek and Isaac, froze.

Last time it had been the Sheriff and it hadn’t been half bad, though. As a good host, Derek opened the door. Lydia was on the other side, which was surprising to put it mildly. He hadn’t heard of her since Stiles’s problem, two weeks ago. 

“Are you busy?” she asked seriously.

Derek glanced at Isaac who nodded. He didn’t smell annoyed, just a bit curious.

“Meet me at the café downstairs then” and she turned around, leaving him on the threshold. 

What the hell?

“I bet you it’s about Stiles“ said Isaac, the sarcasm heavy on his tongue. 

Derek ran to take his jacket and followed after the woman.

She was already sitting with a steaming cup in front of her, waiting for him. She didn’t look her usual though. She looked worried.

“What happened?” he asked.

“What are your intentions toward Stiles?” she asked brutally.

“It’s none of your business” he couldn’t help but answer, on the defensive. 

Hell she had probably every right to ask, but Derek had been waiting such a question from the sheriff, not from Lydia Martin. He didn’t really know her, only what he had heard from his betas and Stiles, which was plenty already. 60% evil Lydia, with such a mean streak hiding under her beautiful face.

But a brain too, a genius, and he had witness that. How she had talked about complex physic theory while they were waiting for Stiles to wake up. How she had known to call him that night with an edge on her voice and the terrifying sound of Stiles choking on air. How she had watched them like a hawk from the moment Stiles breath had calmed down.

“That’s not exactly reassuring””  
“Why are you asking?”

“I’m not exactly versed in panic attacks but it seems to me that, when someone can stop it spontaneously, it is kind of a big deal. I could ignore you before, for what I know you could be a whim… Now it’s getting more serious. Even if he is being emotionally constipated about it.”

Derek stared at her. She had some nerves telling him that, considering she had ignored Stiles for most of their teenage years.

“Still none of your business” he repeated more nastily.

“I’m his friend; I want what is best for him.”

It made Derek wince. He wasn’t exactly the best at anything; apart maybe from being the best loser.

“I just to be sure you are not playing with him. Or using him.”

“Like you did.”

Lydia snorted. She didn’t even had the grace to look affronted by his remark.

“Please, I did many things before we became friend. But I never, ever, used him. There is nothing I would have asked he wouldn’t have gave me.”

Her eyes were terrifying. She was a calculating and cunning woman, nothing would ever stop her. In her opinion she probably had been doing Stiles a favor by treating him the way she did. How she became so protective of him was a mystery though.

“If you keep going this way, both of you, there is nothing he won’t give you. I just want to be sure you won’t take advantage of this.”

“So you want to scare me off” summed up Derek.

She stared at him like he was very slow.

“Of course not. Quite the opposite really.”

She got up of her chair and paid for her beverage.

“Be sure of what you want before you ask, that is all.”

And she was gone.

~

“Lydia is terrifying.”

“Dude I know.”

It was two in the morning and Stiles still wasn’t asleep. His body was still full of energy, still moving all around, starting and aborting a thousand movements. It was hypnotizing to watch. Derek had spent almost half an hour just trying to figure out when the boy would ever tire. If it hadn’t been such an usual sight, it would have worried him. 

“Why are you telling me this?” asked Stiles while writing… something about Canada on his computer.

“We talked the other day”

It was the fifth time in a week, since their little meeting at the café. She was dedicated to become more familiar with him; to ‘know him better’ she said.

“About what?” asked Stiles curiously watching him.

“Nuclear fusion” answered Derek absently. 

It was like college again. She was always talking about an advance subject, always different, always expecting him to have an opinion about it.

“Ah, sorry about that. We had a nuclear week extravaganza. Chemistry was boring so we side track.” 

That made Derek just stops thinking for a while. A week ? He had to deal with this for a whole week ? 

“How smart are you exactly?”

“I’m smart alright” answered Stiles, with a smug smile.

His heartbeat jumped a little. Lie.

“You are smart” insisted Derek.

“Yes, I know” said Stiles in return, mimicking his insistence.

Lie.

Derek frowned at him. 

“Probably as smart as Lydia” he tested. His wolf senses were focused. He listened very carefully the answer.

“Dude, nobody is as smart as Lydia, I’m nothing like her”

Truth

~

Sheriff Stilinski could admit he was surprised when he found Derek Hale pacing in his office. 

They had had limited contact since the ‘breakfast incident’.

The sheriff held on his cup of coffee and hoped for the best.

“So… what happened?” he asked genuinely interested.

“Did you know Stiles thinks he is stupid?” started Derek.

Well, it sure was unexpected. The boy looked angry with the world, ready to pounce on anyone.

The sheriff probably needed to tread carefully.

“I doubt he said it in so many words” he answered as diplomatically as he could.

It didn’t seem to calm Derek. The boy stared at him, like he was betrayed. It was a little disturbing.

“You already knew”

“He is my son” said the sheriff as an explanation. 

“He is not stupid” replied Derek forcefully.

“I know.” 

“He is probably one of the smartest people I have ever met”

“I know”

“Then why doesn’t he know? He has better grade than all his school, he is always learning new stuff at all hours of the day, he can go toes to toes with Peter…”

He furiously paced again. 

“You are talking about Peter Hale? Your disappeared, comatose Uncle Peter ?” frowned the sheriff.

That made the boy stop pacing and looking at him like a very young and innocent person. 

“No?”

“Sure…”

Derek suddenly looked very sheepish.

“I should leave. I’m probably bothering you.”

Before he could flee the office, by the window of course, the sheriff stopped him.

“Stiles has always thought himself as a Watson, never as a Holmes.”

“It’s stupid ! He is a Holmes.”

“Maybe he needs a Watson then”

~  
Stiles’ coat was drenched. Derek could only deduce the rain was pouring outside. It was also dark and freezing.

“Why is he here?” asked Isaac aggressively, without even letting him speak. 

Stiles stared at him blandly. The evening was putting strange shapes in the loft and the low level of light was making his face look graver than he was.

“Hold your horses pup, I’m just dropping this” he said, holding Derek’s phone to his owner. “You forgot it earlier. You sure were in a hurry to leave.”

“Well you sure are exhausting to watch, I can’t imagine what it’s like to listen to you. Maybe it was a self-preservation instinct…” scoffed Isaac.

Stiles ignored the other teenager. It was weird in itself. Derek had always seen Stiles being a little shit with people who clearly annoyed him. This sudden behavior was abnormal.

“Thank you” said Derek. “It could have wait for tomorrow.”

“It’s alright. I know you don’t like not having your phone with you. Just in case troubles arise.” Stiles half shrugged half shuddered. 

“You want to stay until it calms down?” suggested Derek. The loft was at least twenty minutes away from Stiles home. Under this weather it must have been difficult to drive. 

“Oh come on” protested Isaac.

“Nah, I’m fine” answered Stiles. “I was gonna take a shower anyway. Home. I know where the door is.”

And he left, or maybe fled was more appropriate. Derek turns to Isaac and growled at him.

“What? He sees you every fucking day. It’s fucking pathetic already!” complained the blond.

Derek didn’t even take his coat and followed Stiles, not listening to Isaac plea to come back. It was ridiculous really. Stiles must have grown wings, because he was out of the building before Derek could even see his figure. 

“Why don’t you want to stay?” he shouted. The rain was actually heavy and he was afraid Stiles hadn’t heard him.

“I know when I’m not wanted” heard Derek. The voice was barely a whisper with all the noise around him but it hit him more efficiently than a fist. 

“You are welcome here” he defended. 

Stiles turned over and stared at him. There was no trace of humor in his face. His hair was dripping in his collar and made him shudder again.

“No I’m not, Isaac hates me and Boyd and Erica are so fan of me visiting they leave before they can even cross my path.”

“They are on a date” reasoned Derek. This was ridiculous. His pack didn’t hate Stiles. 

“Yeah sure. It’s such a wonderful weather for a date… Conveniently after I send them a text to tell them I was coming over.”

“Why would they hate you? It doesn’t make any sense!” questioned Derek, starting to feel more and more angry.

“Well, Erica and Boyd think I abandoned them in a cave with the Argent so it’s kinda logic. And Isaac? Well I won’t say a thing about Isaac because the last time you went all weird about it.”

It wasn’t difficult to make the leap of deduction.

“You think he is jealous of you” said Derek. He could not believe it. It was so surrealistic. 

“I think? Didn’t you hear his very loud protestation about me staying until it stopped raining? Was it too obvious for you? Do you need more subtlety? “

“Isaac doesn’t worship me” said Derek categorically. 

Stiles shouted his frustration, turning his back to him and pacing under the rain.

“You are either the less observant person who ever walk this ground or you are so far into denial you already crossed Narnia twice” he blew up. “What do you call it then? Misplaced affection? Being a good beta? Or does your brain just not compute that that kid would kill me to spend more time with you, have your approbation, AND PROBABLY CALL YOU HIS BROTHER OR SOMETHING.”   
Derek breathed for a long time trying not to join in the shouting. It let a chance to Stiles to do the same and realize how inappropriate his words were. They were facing each other, almost nose to nose. But Stiles was not backing off. He didn’t say another word but he didn’t retract what he said either. 

“You are wrong”

Stiles grabbed his shirt, now so wet it was clinging to his skin, and through his clenched teeth added :

“I am not”

~

They were facing each other, almost nose to nose. Stiles didn’t feel the cold anymore. Their breathing was mingling and if he wasn’t that pissed off, he would have probably panic a little. 

But he was tired and upset. He had agonized for hours about coming to the loft and gave Derek his phone back. Now they were both drenched and fighting like some sort of romcom characters. They could go back to the lobby and finish their talk sheltered, but stopping now would be the end of… something. 

Derek had always been stubborn about everything. But this was getting ridiculous. He had actual proof, seating just three levels over them. So why was he fighting Isaac affection so hard? This was not upfront denial. It was methodic.

Stiles breathed out and let go of Derek’s shirt.

“Alright”

He stepped back a bit and repeated “Alright”. He needed a second to gather his thoughts.

“Let’s imagine you are right, okay?” he said, trying to squeeze some water from his hair. “Why would Isaac not like you this way? I mean, you took him out of his father’s abuse; you took him to your lair and then your home; you welcomed him even though he was acting like a little shit, you helped him with his class, his grades even improved and everything.”

This time it was Derek who turned over, hiding from Stiles words.

“It can’t be like that” argued Derek.

“Why not? You are halfway there already.”

“He can’t depend on me”

Stiles laughed incredulously. “Why the hell not?”

“Because it will only end in me hurting him” raged Derek. 

They stayed silent, watching each other in shock. 

“You are not going to hurt him”

Derek snorted “And on what kind of backtrack are you making this assumption?”

“Well for one, you are so worried about hurting the guy. Should I mention you are already taking care of him? What big difference would there be if you admitted he likes you and that you like him just as much?”

“It’s not enough”

“It’s never going to be enough, are you waiting for some kind of sign? Are you waiting for a neon sign blinking ‘YOU CANNOT RUIN THIS BOY’? Because I could make one. It would be a lie probably but I could make one.”

“I don’t want to ruin him” almost sobbed Derek.

“Of course you are going to ruin him, this is what human being do okay? This is what relationship is about. But you know what? You could also make him the happiest he has ever been! You could be the family figure he has been begging you to be. You could make him feel safe and loved for once in his fucking life. Who care if you ruin him a bit along the way?”

Derek stared and stared and stared. He stared so much he didn’t hear Isaac calling them from the lobby. The werewolf jumped when he suddenly computed the voice. 

“Hey loosers, you are going to catch pneumonia if you stay out like that.”

Stiles breathed out.

“I should go home anyway” he fished his key out of his pocket and unlocked his Jeep. “Think about what I said” 

~

His phone was ringing but he didn’t want to pick it up. 

He was sick. Of course he was sick after staying half an hour under the cold rain and then staying in wet close for another twenty minutes to his room.

His head was pounding, his skin was clammy and he hated his life. 

The phone stopped ringing. And then rang again.

“STILES !” his father shouted, making the boy jump in his own bed. “If you don’t pick up your phone I will and it won’t be pretty!”

“all right old bear”

It took him forever to move his arm toward his phone and then slide the button to answer. He whined to announce his presence and heard a soft laugh in answer.

“Dude, you sound like you are dying.” 

It was a surprise, a good surprise.

“Hey Scott buddy, it’s been a while!!” Stiles let a small smile lighten his mood.

“Dude, I see you every day at school. Where are you by the way? “

“I’m sick, Doc Shump prescribed me with rest and fluid and nothing remotely close to meds…” 

“Well, you don’t exactly need more meds. Is this about your dosing of Aderall again?”

Stiles sighted. His migraine was coming back and he hated migraines. 

“She said if I’m stupid enough to mess with the prescription and then do a marathon in wet weather, I deserve a bit of suffering.”

“You can’t run a marathon Stiles” answered Scott good naturedly. 

“It’s an hyperbole.”

“Yeah I don’t know that word…”

Stiles smiled and relished in the easy friendship they had.

“So, did you call me because you were worried about me? Or do you have another mobile?”

There was a short silence before Scott’s answer.

“I was wondering if you saw Isaac today?” he sounded sheepish, almost shy.

“Did you even noticed I wasn’t in class today Scott?” asked Stiles in jest.

“I… of course I did. Err”

Stiles didn’t need to have super hearing to know this was a lie. It hurt more than it should have. Scott hadn’t noticed his absence but he had noticed Isaac’s. Stiles swallowed his saliva and focused on his breath. It was not a big deal. It was okay. Scott and Isaac had plenty to share together, their wolfhood, their unreasonable love for a brunette –even if calling Derek a brunette was hilarious. 

“Obviously I haven’t seen him today” answered Stiles, trying for some levity. “He is probably with Derek, they had a little moment yesterday.”

Wow, even he could detect the bitterness in his last sentence. His headache pounced a bit and he groaned, trying to not think too much about the implication of his feelings. 

“A moment?” asked Scott dubiously. 

Derek wasn’t his. Stiles didn’t like Isaac, but he was Derek’s pack. Stiles could understand that pack was more important. 

“You know, a pack thing”

“But Stiles, aren’t you in Derek’s pack?” 

The boy couldn’t help it, he laughed, without any trace of humor in his tone. It was a harsh sound to his hears, full of resentment and probably full of envy. He was almost choking before he realized he was also crying a bit. Not enough to be obvious over the phone. 

“I’m coming over” resolved Scott when he quieted suddenly. 

“You still have class” argued Stiles.

“I don’t care. I’ll be there in twenty.”

Stiles closed his eyes and let the call end.

~

Boyd realized the second it started to go south.

Isaac and Derek couldn’t look further apart, the former being as tense as a string and the other appearing calm. However Boyd had learned – the hard way- that looks were often deceiving. Their alpha wasn’t a very good leader and probably a worse father figure but he was a very good wolf. Sometimes it meant he ran on instinct more than reason. Sometimes it meant he could hide better than anyone how he really felt.

The question hadn’t been a surprise, to be honest. Boyd had assumed the talk would happen sooner.

Isaac smelled furious and jealous, which again was not a surprise.

“Why not?” he asked.

“What is happening between me and Stiles does not interfere with the pack. It’s no business of yours whether I spend time with him or not” answered Derek. 

Boyd watched with some dread Erica’s face reddening with more and more frustration. She would soon join in the conversation and things would turn ugly really fast. Boyd was… confused by how it had turned so quickly. 

They had all spent most of the night talking – and if he was a lesser man he would have highlight the talking part – about the pack and how they could count on Derek from now. It has been awkward and more than once, Isaac and Erica had started shouting their feelings for no apparent reasons. Once the morning had come, they agreed that Isaac could do with an official guardian, while Erica and himself could find more stability in their own family. Even if it was a gross exaggeration of the reality. 

“He is not part of the pack” stressed Isaac.

“He is a hunter bitch” muttered Erica.

Boyd held his breath for a second. Everybody stilled in the room. It took them a long minute to realize it was because Derek’s eyes had become furiously red. 

“It is your right to not like him because he is annoyingly loud” stated Derek slowly. “But I never want to hear you say this insulting piece of crap. Do you understand ?”

Erica swallowed and it was obvious she was fighting against the direct order. Boyd tried not to panic. He had never witness Derek being rude. Even when he was beyond hurt or overwhelmed by the situation he never, never said a swear word.

“Well, he is definitely someone’s” added Isaac with bitterness. 

The following roar was not a surprise. It shook Boyd to the core, even when not at the center of its attention. It has been weeks since Derek’s last attempted to subject them by force. Isaac looked suddenly terrified and if Boyd hadn’t thought it was partially the blond fault, he would pity him.

“This is not up for debate” announced Derek. 

~

Stiles was asleep on his shoulder.

They were lying on his bed watching a movie, something about samurai and Japanese revolution and suddenly Stiles head had bumped on his shoulder. Derek hadn’t breathed for a second or two and relaxed gradually. It was unusual to see Stiles fall asleep during their routine. The boy had assured him he only had a cold and nothing worse. 

It had been a long time since Derek had been around sick human. Almost a decade. It had been his little sister, Mira. She was insufferable the way only little sisters can be, loud and young. Always demanding his attention. His mother had explained when she was born how more fragile Mira was, because she was human. Derek had never understood why until the first time she was sick. ‘Human can die from the flu’ had said his father, ‘you have to be careful with them’. 

Stiles mumbled something in his sleep. Derek scrutinized him probably too much. Awake or asleep Stiles looked vulnerable. His body was weak, his senses were limited; he could not run very far or fight an enemy. All his instincts were itching him to protect this frail human, unable to take care of himself.

Except… Except appearances were wrong. Stiles was able to take care of himself, he was also excelling in taking care of other and defending them, without any appearance of strength whatsoever. He was insistent, stubborn, annoying, restless, greedy, young.

“Shit” breathed out Derek, burying his nose in Stiles hair. 

And despite all, Derek loved him. 

It was a cosmic joke. After being seduced by an older woman who ruined his life, he was there, falling in love with a boy eight years younger than him.

He could have stopped it, during their fight. He could have hurt the boy, not too much but just enough to make him rethink about what happened between them. Just enough to make him think ‘this is not worth it’. He could have not come back, or not as close as they were now. Instead he had come back and implicitly agreed to keep falling for the sheriff’s son. 

It was frightening, being in love again. The last time had been disastrous. He had flat out refuse to feel anything close to it again since the fire, because if he never let someone’s in, nobody could hurt what was left of his family. Nobody would hurt what was left of his heart. For eight years he hadn’t trust a soul other than his sister, he hadn’t touch another body in any other way than violent, he hadn’t let himself form any kind of relationship.

“You are thinking too loud” mumbled Stiles. “What old is it?”

Derek blinked, trying to understand what Stiles had meant.

“Time, not old” groaned sleepily the boy.

“Two o’clock”

“It’s still early” said Stiles, trying to wake up a bit.

“You are tired” stated Derek. 

Stiles closed his eyes and shuffled his body under the cover while his head was still on his shoulder. It was a bit ridiculous to watch.

“I could hear you from my sleep” he breathed “you were angsting again. I can tell.”

“Nobody call it angsting. It’s not a word” countered Derek. 

“Oh sorry Herr Grammar Nazi. You were anguished. Does it sound better to you?”

“You are a little shit” told him Derek, his fond smile hidden by the darkness.

“Yeah, but you love it” teased Stiles.

Derek considered it for a whole minute. It was inconsequential. Stiles didn’t mean anything by that. He was on the verge of sleep, sick and probably wouldn’t remember anything in the morning. 

“I do”

“You are not exactly subtle” reacted Stiles against all odds. “I’m sure you are anguished about your little talk with the pack.”

“How? 

Stiles snorted.

“Scott spend the day here because Isaac wasn’t in class today. It wasn’t exactly a big leap of faith.”

Derek was left speechless and incredulous from so much insight and at the same time so much blindness.

“Don’t worry about him” keep slurring Stiles “you are going to be great for him. You are already great.”

The next noise which came out of his mouth was a snore. If Derek hadn’t been worried of waking him up – again – he would had laugh, hysterically. Instead he closed his eyes and tried to not think he was in love with an idiot. 

He failed, unsurprisingly. But the thought wasn’t as frightening.

~


End file.
